Directions to Tony's House

One of the old articles in the Churnal is easily due an update as the old directions are ten years out of date now and what with all the old roads being demolished to make way for high rise buildings and monster Retail Parks, and new roads being integrated, the landscape has changed out of all recognition. The old directions are just not reliable. Plus I have moved half way across the world which changes things somewhat.

1. Have someone book a flight to Heathrow and a hire car on arrival. I can't stress enough how important it is for someone responsible to carry out the first step as it is easily the most difficult. As an indication of how important this is, the last time I asked my wife (who is usually very trustworthy), to book our flight to New Zealand the journey took over a year. Most of it was taken up with airport transfers, actual flight time came to less than 12 hours probably.

2. Taxi to the airport.

3. After landing at Heathrow drive West to the M25 and leave at A1

4. Follow the A1 as far as you can, then switch to the A9

5. Follow the A9 until you reach a T junction, take a right, then a left, then right, then left to the top of the hill. (If like me you have trouble with your left and right and you turn the wrong way at the junction you will not end up at Tony's house, one trick I have found to evercome this is to tie a bit of string on your right hand, check with the wife before you tie it on, otherwise you could be tying it on the wrong hand. Then the directions will be . . . . At the T junction, take a string, then a no-string, then a string, then no-string to the top of the hill) Now, if you reach another T juntion you have gone too far, but don't despair, there is an easy way to get back on track. Follow the signs to Wick. Then follow the signs to Inverness, but don't go all the way. You will come to a roundabout which you must go fully round and then follow step 5 again (many's the time I have done this myself, how I laughed when I found I had done it three times in a row.)

Ade x