Churnal Staff in suspended animation experiment accident

My dear readers, I must apologise for this lull in the flow of articles, but there is a reason, and a big one at that.

At the end of December 2007 Dr Natty Inkspoon invited the staff to a “Staff Christmas Party”. Not wanting to miss out on the fun we all made our way down to the place of the meeting – Ie Cairn o Get.

Waiting for us was a large metal silo-like building inside the cairn. A general murmur of confusion was all any of us could utter before being shot in the bums with tranquilliser darts. This is as much as I can tell you, but Prof David Mackay has been able to fill in the blanks for us.

After being knocked out Dr Natt took us into the chamber, and began to freeze us by injecting the Caithness wind into the chamber through a hole in the base. We were about to become part of Scotland’s first cryogenics project. Prof Mackay saw this from his lair in the hills and swooped down on his jetpack, lightsaber at the ready.

The two intellectuals did battle. Dr Natt seemed a dead cert to win, when all of a sudden he lost his footing and fell into the peat bog, freezing instantly.

The prof managed to get us out of the chamber, but it has taken almost two full months to thaw us all out properly.

An internal investigation is underway, and Dr Natt has been suspended temporarily.