Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Jonathan's Jottings

My pal George and I have been discussing the, up until now, taboo subject of 'stuck farts'. I had always thought this phenomenon peculiar to me until George confessed he too occasionally suffered from this. This opened up a whole new can of worms, for instance, is 'stuck fart' the correct terminology, do other people know it under a different name? When I thought it applied to myself alone it mattered not what it was called and perhaps I have inadvertently renamed it.

For the uninitiated, a 'stuck fart' feels like a bubble just at the exit point that just doesn't burst, at least not with a satisfactory tonal quality, and often disappears with no satisfaction derived.

My brother Aaron says that trying to force the issue can be counter productive and lead to the disastrous condition known as a 'lumpy fart'. His recommendation is, as unsatisfying as it is, to let the stuck fart go gracefully. Is this true? or is he just scare mongering?. It seems such a pity to waste a fart, but if the consequences are so draconian? Surely some of the aussie rules aficionado's could elucidate. Please let me know your thoughts on this at the usual address.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I looked up 'stuck fart' in google and ie Ulpster Churnal tops the list. I believe this is conclusive proof that we have lead the way in creating a term for this recently discovered phenomenum. Well done to Jonathon for discovering a brand new to science function of the human body.

Anonymous said...

natty you should look up 'inward farting'

hello? duh!! Everyone knows that.

Anonymous said...

Naomi, Inward farting is defined as "The act of holding a fart for so long that it reverts into your stomach.

I had dinner with my girlfriends family and I was so gassy that I was inward farting."

Whereas a Stuck Fart is defined by farting expert Jonathon as "feels like a bubble just at the exit point that just doesn't burst"

I think everyone agrees these are completely different phenomena. Well done to Jonathon for this exciting discovery.

Anonymous said...

i'm going to open a can of whupass on u natty boy

Anonymous said...

jonathon, have you been eating a dictionary? aficianado! elucidate? I don't even know what language that is! your girlfriend looks too old for you too.

Anonymous said...

There's fart oomuch fart stories in this inferior imitation of ie churnal. This one is really the unofficial churnal! Boycott the churnal.

Anonymous said...

stuck farts are the most irritating phenomenon on earth. They taker a,ll the joy out of farting.

Do inward farts end up as burps? if so then how don't they taste like farts?

Anonymous said...

They don't taste like farts?

Anonymous said...

Well, as is well known, us girls don't fart so I dont really know what all the fuss is about

Anonymous said...

my wife and daughter both fart like troopers

Anonymous said...

I agree wholeheartedly. Morna's farts are worse than mine and Aden's put together.

Tonyf said...

Of course I only fart outside of an FFZ

Tonyf said...

Actually I'm relieved I can still read the churnal and comment since my access has been revoked.

I miss being involved :(