Aden's Pearls of Wisdom

I was recently mulling over one of children's great unanswered questions, namely, where do grown-ups keep disappearing to? It used to happen quite regularly to me when I was younger, grown-ups would come right up to you, say the magic word "Heidi", wave their hands and bam! disappear into thin air, only to magically re-appear moments later with the magic word "peep-oh" Where on earth do they go? do they move into a sideways parallel world briefly? or into an alternative dimension? or is it some sort of hypnotism? I think it's high time we kids were told

Aden's Pearls of Wisdom

My big Uncle Jonathan read me one of the stories in the Churnal the other day and I'm inspired!
I'm convinced I can open a huge, fat, can of whup-ass on Uncle Jimmmy. Even Uncle Nick gave him a hammering, and he's no heavyweight.
I'm quite tall for my age and I wonder if it would be considered bullying if I challenged him to a fight, also, as a novice, I'm wondering how I should approach a fight like this, should I attack him head on, or use his own tactic by approaching him from behind. Any input would be gratefully recieved.

Aden's Pearls of Wisdom

Around this time of the year it's easy to get carried away with the commercialism of Christmas but just recently I have had cause to re-evaluate my own thoughts on the matter. My Auntie Aimee took me to watch a play the other evening and the star of the show did amazingly well in spite of being visually disadvantaged. Everyone else in the audience was able to see the baddy and warn with a shout "He's behind you", but the star insisted on arguing with the audience by shouting "Oh no he's not!" As you can imagine, this drove us in the audience into a frenzy and quite spoiled my evening out.
So, my pearl of wisdom for this article is, You have to feel sorry for those with a disability.

Aden's Pearls of Wisdom

Hello everybody. My dad keeps harping on about this Ulpster Churnal thing. Obviously, with me being only three years old, I was no more than a wee tadpole swimming around in his nads when the original paper was doing the rounds. Nevertheless, I still feel I have something to contribute. In fact, I was reading on the 'Cbeebies Advanced Science for Kids' website that us nippers have a far greater capacity for absorbing information than you crumblies do. If you slow, aged people still haven't twigged yet... That means that you should be learning from me! So, try and focus those clapped out old brains of yours and enjoy the first of my 'Pearls of Wisdom'...

What dawned on me this afternoon (while I was trying to hold in my poo until I got my bedtime nappy on) is that Daddy poos in the toilet, Mummy poos in the toilet, Granny poos in the toilet, Uncle Ade poos in the toilet, Aunty Aimee poos in the toilet and Uncle Jonathan poos in the toilet. In fact everybody poos in the toilet.

(sigh) With all this talk of poos I wish bedtime would hurry up so that I can poo too.