Aussie Rules Final will go ahead

Aussie Rules Tennis tournament 'The Ulpster Open 2007' has been under scrutiny following an astonishing series of attempts by one of the finalists to wriggle out of appearing in the final. Tony has publicly offered to withdraw on a few separate occasions claiming he actually lost his semi-final against Nick. However the rules clearly state that this is not the case.

"I can't understand this attitude!" said Joan yesterday, "I keep all my trophies proudly displayed in a box in my daughter's attic". Another former winner, Nickos echoed that sentiment when he told us he was proud of his achievements in farting and still hoped to win a few more times before he retires.

Aaron however was dismissive of these reports, "Its just pure gamesmanship", he told us, "that old bufty is trying to upset my preparations for this final, but it wont work. I've been eating spinach empanadillas by the dozen and will be ready for anything in this final."

Tony was unavailable for comment although people close to him have reported that he is in very good form just now.