Friday, July 20, 2007

Jade's Boobs Revealed

The churnal office staff have gone boobs daft as they try to uncover the truth behind Jade's prize assets after provocative comments have been made in this very churnal by Jade herself. By her own admission these impressively large knockers are reputed to be 38 inch D cups.

Sponsored by the Sun newspaper and in association with the Chinese, British and New Zealand governments we finally think we may be able to reveal what Jade's bazongas look like having conducted an exhaustive investigation.

Churnal leader and timelord Tony explained, 'I have done extensive research including opening up a search engine which I cannot name due to legal reasons and then typing phrases like 'boobs' and 'baps' into the text entry box. When you hit enter google gives you millions of results, you can spend hours sifting through them all and building up a mental image of just what these knockers might look like.

When I get too tired to continue my investigation, Roy Anarchy continues until I wake up again in the morning next to Eswyl with no memory of the previous evening. Anyway the following image shows the fruits of my extensive labour. I am proud to annouce that here for the first time we reveal an impression of Jade's baps using information collected from all available sources....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Right, Im gonna consult my lawyers when I get back from holiday. Flying out to Spain tomorrow morning.
You better consult your lawyers too!

Anonymous said...

eek... not another boob related lawsuit! First Eswyl, then Aaron and now our no.1 fan.

The other two eventually settled for an anatomically correct Ade doll and an Ulpster Open commemorative garden gnome by way of compensation.

Have a good holiday Jade. Try some jibias (cuttlefish) if you get a chance, it's scrummy.