Kissinger to head Arbitration Panel?

Negotiations between the authorities from New Zealand and China over the naming of an obscure fruit have been proving extremely difficult. However it seems there may be light at the end of the tunnel.

New Zealand spokesman Ade explained, "The two sides are now extremely close to an agreement with a new name Chiwi emerging as the likely winner. Unfortunately, as usual there is a stumbling block, namely the pronounciation, with the Chinese insisting its pronounced Chy-Wee, whilst we New Zealanders are backing Chee-Wee, in fact we would accept nothing less."

Under prompting from the Churnal, the two sides have agreed to put the matter to an arbitration panel, led by ace negotiator Henry Kissinger ... probably!

The Churnal undertakes to keep the readers fully informed over these delicate talks.