Aunty Wendy Abducted... By Aliens!

It has been reported that Aunty Wendy has been abducted by aliens at some point between 2 and 5 AM today.

The alarm had been raised after a passing motorist saw what he described to be a “woman being sucked up into a large round thing in the sky”.

He took this photograph with his camera phone:

A full scale investigation has been launched with every policeman in Caithness being brought in to help, with both of them working around the clock.

The abduction may or may not have something to do with the mysterious “death lab” that is alleged to be hidden inside David’s shed. He had the following to say on the subject:

“My lab – err workshop – has nothing to do with Wendy’s disappearance. It’s got nothing to do with any o yee what goes on in there. Oh aye, the recent bout of freak electrical storms isolated to Lypster are also nothing to do with me. Now go away or I’ll get yee with ma ray gun!”

This comes just weeks after the disappearance of Aunty Val, who was swallowed whole by a giant sea anemone.