The Ulpster Open First Semi-Final
Live Commentry today comes from Nims and Grandma Joan,

Nims - "So, here we are for what is anticipated to be an evenly matched contest between Aaron, who has specialized in eggy boffs throughout this tournament and Ade, who's farts are reputed to smell pleasantly of roses.

Joan - "Yes it seems like the whole population of Ulbster is in attendence and quite a few travelling from as far afield as Thrumster and Lypster too, all anticipating an exciting event. Presently the murmuring of the crowd quietens to an absolute hush as the match begins. I hand over to Naomi for the match commentary...."

"Thanks Grandma - Immediately Aaron signals his intent and squeaks out 3 rotten guffs in quick succession, with one more ripper it's first game to Spidey - 40: love. The second game goes much the same way as Spidey casually bends over, his arse only inches from Ade's face and squirts out one long fart which he eeks into 4 seperate pumps using exquisite control of his sphincter muscles. Ade's shouts of "Come on ref theres lumps in that" go ignored by the match official and Aaron wins the next game too. Spidey takes the first set 6 : love.

Nims: "As the players take a break after the first set I have to say Ade looks very uncomfortable today, I feel like Spidey's pumps may be too stinkey for him.

With the second set also going in Spidey's favour, it is not until the start of the third set Ade finally lets rip, a strong warm wind billows from his arse around the theatre blowing Aaron over so he tumbles backwards! What an amazing fart! It actually seems to have cleared away some of the lingering egginess too which I have to say is a relief.

"I haven't seen a fart like this since 1943" adds Grandma Joan.

Nims - " Yes but this only appears to have made Aaron even more determined, look at the expression on his face as he farts again and again and again. I bet Ade wishes he wasn't here at all. oh no in fact Ade is now retching quite violently and in fact it is over, Ade is now unfit to continue.

And so we now know the first finalist will be Aaron after this quite ruthless display. We now must wait to see if he will play Tony or Nick in the final.