Aussie Rules Tennis Tournament underway in Ulpster

The stage is set for some fantastic farting tennis as we reach the semi-final stage in an enthralling Aussie Rules Tennis competition currently underway, the 'Ulpster Open'. For those who don’t know the rules refer here.

The first eye-watering, nose-running, semi final will be hotly contested by Ade the New Zealand Welterweight Champion 2006-7, versus Aaron the undefeated Scottish champion for 3 years running. It is anybodies guess who will win although bookies have made Aaron the slight favorite after an incredible display beating Uncle Jimmy easily in his quaterfinal match with an unstoppable onslaught of eggy boffs, this was despite Jim having eaten tons of peas pudding in his pre-match preparations. However Ade also looked impressive in his defeat of Aunty Linden and would probably have gone on to beat her even if she hadn't been disqualified for excessive lumps in her shots.

The other semi-final looks a bit more one sided with pre-tournament favourite Nick Butter-Dickos expected to easily beat old campaigner Tony. Tony generally prefers a defensive approach aiming to neutralize his opponent using air freshener spray rather than a standard offensive farting style. This has worked for him so far in this tournament against Steve in his first round match and then Naomi in the quarter final, but will it work against Nick? This is doubtful as Nick’s guts are said to be rank at the moment. It is well known that Nick holds the world record for sustaining one long fart whilst running around a pool table.

Stay tuned for live coverage of these enthralling semi-final matches coming up.