I think the others have all gone now so it's time for me to claim the Churnal for myself and transform it into the serious publication it should always have been.
Right, let's get down to business. Issue number one on my list is the prevalence of conspiracy theories being perpetuated and amplified by the World Wide Web. Take a smattering of half truths, a sprinkling of selectively chosen facts, half bake it for an unspecified time and boomshanka... anyone can become a renowned pseudo scientist. This shite is tainting real science and harming the reputations of genuine renowned scientists such as myself (O'Grade Science, 1967).
UNFOUNDED PISH
Recently it came to my attention that aliens are supposedly going to show up at the 2012 Olympic Games. This will usher in a new era for the NWO who will create a new religion uniting all the religions of the world, thus gaining full world domination when the Mayan long count calender comes to it's end.
Utter unfounded pish and I will tell you why...
I was rocking out, well, rocking on my chair in my sun lounge watching the beautiful windmills recently installed on the rolling hills near my house when I notice that the positioning of the turbines made them look a little bit like elevens. Now my son is twelve and my youngest grandchild is one, [12-1=11] and my two eldest grandchildren are eight and three, [8+3=11]. Spooky huh?
Time for some research. Querying google for "interesting facts about number eleven", then selecting the eleventh link brought up a video about, yep you guessed it, eleven. Well, bugger me if it wasn't as dull as Liverpool FC and pretty soon my thoughts had drifted over to the mighty Man City and their eleven goals scored against Utd this season. After several minutes I reached over for my mouse so that I could close the browser window and happened to glance at the time bar, I was dumbfounded... 33minutes 33seconds!
That is six elevens, from which you can form two pyramids of elevens, which can be dismantled and laid out to form four pyramids (see diagram 11), which got me to thinking about the four pyramids of the etheric life.
You will note that elevens have ones in them and as we all know the first pyramid of etheric life is Magnetic, which is what aliens use to propel their crafts (magnetism), which led me to think about the eleven planetary bodies in our solar system.
Now here is the really interesting bit, the Quran categorically stated that there were eleven planets in our solar system waaay before astronomers and scientists knew so. So, I went to chapter eleven of the Quran and counted eleven characters left from the bottom right and to my amazement the character looked like it had wee wings with a wee blob flying over it.
CONCLUSIVE PROOF
Conclusive proof that alien Muslims destroyed the twin towers (which looked like an eleven) because the royal/elite lizardy dudes running the world are actually their historical alien enemies from eleven thousand years ago (incidentally, notice the 'li' in lizard is also an eleven).
That got me to thinking, what could they want with earth? What is there most of on earth that is unique to earth? Water... salt water... salt has Sodium in it... Sodium is the eleventh element in the periodic table.
So at the end of the long count Mayan calendar Dec 21, 2012... [(2-1)-(2-0)= -1 +12 = 11] at 11:11am there will be an almighty alien Muslim lizard battle, culminating in all our sodium being taken back to planet eleven... or something... and we'll have no salt to put on our fresh water fish suppers for the rest of our days.
So to all you conspiracy loonies, get your grubby faces out your stinky bong pipes and wake up to the fact that there are NO conspiracies, just simple explanations as I have shown. Two multiplied by five does not equal eleven you dumbshits.
Quod Erat Demonstrandum.
