Wendy's Fantastic Nature Facts

Eeeeee, ah can't believe that ah finally have me own column. Before ah get started ah'd like to thank Aden for showing me how to switch on this new fangled computer thing and how to use it's word processor doo-dah.

Anyway, back to me column. My first fact for you all is regarding the common or garden Mango. Up here in tropical Lypster you can hardly take two steps without coming across a tree fruiting with Mangos so unsurprisingly our diet consists primarily of them and the wonderful neep. A wee tip for you, neeps and mango mashed together make a fine cheap clapshot substitute if, like us, you find tatties hard to come by.

Eeeeee, am so excited ah forgot to tell you the most amazing thing... Ah was looking at a mango stone the other day and it seemed very familiar. Then in a blinding flash of back spasm ah realized what it was! It was a blooming cuttlefish bone like yon budgies gnaw on. Who would have thought that the mango was not a fruit at all but a flippin mollusc and close relative of the cuttlefish.

Ah can't wait to see our Mels face when she finds out ah've discovered a bigger animal than her, what do you all think ah should call it? Ah think a Wendyfish has quite a nice ring to it personally.