Newsflash

Pupils at a school near Uplster were astonished this week to witness first hand one of their teachers near-death experience.

Mrs Sprite had agreed to invigilate an exam, totally unaware of what fate had in store for her. Several pupils were of the opinion that the incident was just an unfortunate accident, while the silent majority thought it may have been a prank which got out of hand. Mrs Sprite however agreed that the collapse of her chair in the examination hall was an accident and insisted it was nothing at all to do with the stress the chair suffered.

When asked about her injuries, Mrs Sprite replied, "Why man, ah could'a been killed! As it happens I got off quite canny, ah bit me tongue like, and nearly drew blood, and I hurt me coccyx, but worst of all, I severely bruised me ego!"