Fight outside local kebab shop

By sheer good fortune, ie ulpster churnal has been lucky enough to witness an actual fight which happened late last night, outside the local kebab shop. One of our reporters, Aaron, happened to be walking past at the time and witnessed a crowd of people cheering as they looked on at some sort of scene developing in front of them. Of course our reporter's natural instinct was to run over there and push his way right to the front of the crowd, to see what all the fuss was about. This is what Aaron witnessed.

“I saw immediately that this looked like a real situation developing, you could sense it in the air like elecricity. But the thing that made me dizzy with shock was the realisation that I recognized one of the people involved! It was none other than Uncle Nick. He was raising both his hands in the air in a gesture of conciliation, and saying 'I don't want any trouble' but meanwhile advancing on the other figure, who had his back to me. As Nick reached the other figure he suddenly leapt up in the air. Almost in the style of a movie like the matrix, he appeared to pause in mid air momentarily before regaining momentum and landing on the other figure and clinging around his waist, using both arms and legs to hold on.

The other figure roared, 'aaal hav ye owt ye li'le baast' and spun around trying to shake off Uncle Nick, which was when the realisation hit me like a hammer. The other figure was none other than Uncle Jimmy! This was unbeleivable, Uncle Nick versus Uncle Jim, surely one of the best fights I could have dreamt of! Without being sure where my loyalties should lie I decided to either cheer them both on or goad either one of them as seemed appropriate at any given moment. I couldn't help but almost salivate at the prospect of what was to come, I had always imagined that Nick would be a fair fighter, in the mould of Queensbury Rules, whereas Jim would probably come out biting and pulling hair. But would this be the case? I couldn't wait to find out.

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