Leona's 21st Birthday Extravaganza

Last week saw one of the parties of the century as Leona Wilton celebrated her 21st birthday in style. The secretarial tycoon pulled out all the stops to firmly cement her position in the family A-list. That is no mean feat when you consider legendary get-togethers of the past including Grandma Joan's 72 hour non-stop rave buffet, Jim's Egyptian-Fest complete with 10 foot beer pyramid and Linden's "pool + pease pudding = jacuzzi" party.

The long deserted Kyleburn sweet factory just south of Ulpster was a rather strange choice of venue though the reasoning behind it would become clear. Buses had been laid on for the 50-odd guests and we arrived, ready to party, at seven o'clock sharp. It was dim and eerily quiet and had it not been for the signs directing us to the main entrance we might have thought we were at the wrong place.

Inside was a table opulently laden with glasses of Crystal champagne and a notice telling us to take one and make our way to the main hall. Nervously, we filed into the pitch dark of the hall where we waited with baited breath. The most we were expecting was for the lights to come on and balloons to float down but what actually happened was simply breathtaking.

The skylight swung open, pyrotechnics flashed and Leona gently descended, holding what we assumed to be a bunch of balloons. Everyone gasped as they realised the bundle of strings Leona held was not attached to balloons at all but to six enormous seagulls! Touching down to rapturous applause she released the gulls, which flew back out of the skylight to return moments later.... each bearing an Oompa Loompa!

Needless to say much singing and dancing ensued while the Oompa Loompas fired up the old sweet making equipment, whipping up a feast of fantastic confectionery. My personal favourite has to be the Never Ending Boozy Bubblegum that has kept me tiddly for almost a week now. It will certainly take a lot to top this birthday bash.