A recent study concocted by our own churnal staff has revealed some astonishing facts about Sunderland Football Club. In fact they are shite, explained our new sports correspondant Naomi, "I mean do they even know what a goal is? Like no way, whatever!" she said whilst crudely making a homosexual hand gesture and putting on an exaggerated American accent.
Sunderland are shite
Thought provoking stuff indeed but the facts are that Sunderland's players do tend to run around like headless chickens. Tony confirmed this when he said that Manchester United are MUCH better than Sunderland. We asked Naomi to explain more about the Sunderland game plan and she told us, "What game plan? They don't have a clue I actually saw them live on Sky Sports once when they were quite good but even then they were shite, which they still are of course - I mean according to people that know about footy like me and Alan Hansen"
Naomi then continued, again using an american accent to illustrate her point further, "it's all about DEfence and OFFence with them", I mean come on, 'they don't even know the offside trap - you know that thing beside the pitch that the manager sits in? Honestly I saw this one game were Sunderland didn't even manage to get a goal and yet conceeded several, meaning that for that game they only got 3 points, or conceeded 3 points or something."
5 comments:
They're doing amazingly well this season, they have what it takes to go up and stay up this season
The views of our sports correspondant, Naomi, do not reflect the views of all ie churnal staff. For example Aaron grudgingly think Sunderland are 'alright' and voted against ie churnal on this matter. Tony still ascertains that Man Utd are MUCH better than Sunderland though (he also admires Liverpool knocking out Barcelona recently and is consideringswitching back to them if they win the champions league)
I dont know nothing about football so I got to go with the Churnal - Sorry
Where are all you Sunderland fans, only 3 people have voted 'not shite' and one of them was a sympathy vote from me (Ade)
I voted not shite! ps I'll have yers aaahll oot uncle tchimmy
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